u jotika A Map of the Journey

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TALK ONE: Preparing the Mind

As I see most of you are in your thirty’s, forty’s and fifty’s.
You have done and experienced quite a lot in
your life, you have had your own successes and disappointments.
Now, I think you are ready for something better. In
fact you have been doing this for quite a while, developing your inner qualities and spiritual nature. As today is our first day it is going to be an introduction.
Before we really meditate we need to prepare ourselves.
Whenever we want to do something we need to be prepared, this is very important. It is something I learnt a long time ago, and I teach this to my friends and students: be prepared. If you really prepare for what you are going to do it is really surprising how natural and easy it becomes. Just like a farmer or a gardener
who wants to grow flowers or any crop, first of all he needs to prepare the land. Without doing this if he just goes and scatters the seeds some of them might sprout but they won’t bear fruits, very soon they will die out. They can ot take root properly because there is not enough fertilizer, not enough nutrients for the plant and not enough water.

In the same way the person who wants to cultivate his inner qualities must do the same. The two have many similarities.
Maybe you know the meaning of the Pali word bhavana. One of the meanings is cultivation. Bhavana literally means to make something grow. The root of the word bhavana is bhu meaning to grow, i.e. cultivation. When you grow something it implies that you have the seed, either in the form of a grain or another part of the plant like a branch. So, you already have something to grow. If you don’t have the seed you cannot grow anything.
Just to have the seed is not enough; you also have to prepare the land. When you prepare the land first of all you pull out the weeds, clear the land. This is something we should also do in our life. It is very natural for weeds to grow. Look deeply into your life, into the way you are living and find out what kind of weeds are there. Some of them have been there for a very long time and have grown strong roots, it might take sometime to dig those
roots out, just like a bad habit, taking intoxicants, drinking, etc.
Pulling out weeds and removing stones is very important.

If you love doing something don’t bargain. A lot of people
ask me how long you need to sit in order to develop samadhi (concentration), how long do they need to meditate to attain Nibbana. How can anybody tell how long? If you really love doing it, you are happy because you are doing it; this happiness and joy
gives you a lot of motivation. Please don’t bargain! People want to give as little as possible and get as much as possible. I think this is not the right attitude especially in meditation. In other areas of our life as well, like in relationships, if you want to give a little and get a lot you won’t get anything. The truth is that you get as much as you give. If you give a little you’ll get a little, if you give yourself totally you’ll really get a lot. When practicing
meditation look deeply into your mind, why are you doing
it? Are you really willing to do it? When you do something, no matter what, there are some sacrifices you need to make. You need to give up something in your life. Like for coming to this class, you have already given up something.

Our human nature is basically spiritual; within us we have very beautiful qualities like loving kindness, compassion, mindfulness, peace of mind. We already have the seeds and we want those seeds to grow. Human nature is very mixed, on one hand
we want to enjoy sensual pleasures and on the other we don’t want to enjoy anything at all. We want to give up!
When the student is ready the Teacher will appear,
I have heard this saying and I like it very much,
I think it is very true.
Look very deeply, a lot of us here are not so young anymore, we have done already many things in our lives and we know that there is nothing really fulfilling. We have never really found anything, either in possessions or pleasure that has given us any real lasting satisfaction. Really we are looking for something
else. When we are truly ready to receive, what is needed
will be available. Ask yourself “am I truly ready to receive?”


Before we meditate there are few things we need to reflect on in order to prepare our mind. In our daily life we get distracted by so many things. To make our mind suitable for meditation one of the things we need to do is to reflect on death.
Life is very short, very soon we’ll be gone, considering our age here, for some very soon life will be over. If we have awareness and clarity before we die, we can reflect on what we have done in our life. What would we find really satisfying? I have been very close to death a few times. Once when I was very sick with malaria for a few months, I was living in the forest and medicine
was not available. I couldn’t eat and my body was very weak and I was about to die. My friends were around me and they were saying: “he is unconscious, he is in a coma”. I was able to hear but I could not move anymore. At that time I reflected on what I had done with my life and I felt that I hadn’t done anything really satisfying. I had a degree, had a job, married and did many
other things. In many ways I had been successful but all that didn’t mean anything anymore. The only thought that came to my mind which was really meaningful was that I had learnt to meditate. At that moment I turned my mind to meditation and I felt that if I died it was ok, but I wanted to die mindfully, I wanted to die meditating. That was the only thing that gave me some peace of mind, something I could rely on, all the other things were not around me anymore.

To prepare our mind for meditation we need to reflect on the shortness of life. No matter how long we live, even one hundred is not very long. If we think of our life and compare it with the life of this world it is like a split second. Think of the shortness of life and tell yourself that there is no time to waste, time is very
precious and time is life. If we ask someone: “do you want to live a long life?” The answer would be “of course I want to live a long life!” What are you going to do if you live a very long life? For most of us we don’t have a clear answer, we don’t really know what we want to do with our life; we just want to live a long life.
This shows our attachment to life but we don’t really know how to make the most of it. If we live really mindfully and make the best use of our time then we can achieve something. For example, something that would take someone five years to achieve we could do it in one year. We can make one year equal to five years. If we live for about sixty or seventy years and make the best
use of our time it is like we lived for two — three hundred years.
So much of our time is wasted because we are so unmindful.

When we understand that life is short and
time is precious and if we will have developed
some understanding of the Dhamma,
it becomes more precious.

Do not procrastinate, do what should be
done today, we don’t know whether
we will be still alive tomorrow.
Today, now, do what should be done,
try to accomplish, to do.

Ajj'eva kiccam atappam. ~ MN iii.187

An earnest meditator doesn't procrastinate.
No matter where you are or what you are doing;
that is the time and the place to meditate.

We should reflect on the qualities of the Buddha. The more you learn about the Buddha the more you know about His nature, His purity, His wisdom. When we think of the qualities of the Buddha the mind reflects the object of the mind, for example when we think about something that makes us unhappy, naturally we will become
unhappy. The happiness or unhappiness of our mind depends on the object and how we look at the object. When we think of someone that we love we develop loving kindness, we feel love.
In the same way when we think about the Buddha, His freedom,
His wisdom, His peace, His purity, what will happen to our mind?
A similar nature will arise. It is very important to find out more and more about the Buddha. When we think of the Buddha we appreciate His qualities and we ourselves would like to have them.
It makes our mind attracted to them, and it can become our goal,
"I want to be free, peaceful, and wise". Although we won't become a Buddha we will develop those qualities to a certain extent. When we become enlightened, in a certain way we become a Buddha.

When we take Buddha as a teacher,
His purity, wisdom and freedom gives us a direction,
"Where am I going, what is my goal"?

Reflect on the Dhamma as well, on what the Buddha taught.
As you have been meditating for a while you have some experience of the Truth of the Teaching of the Buddha, you know that it is true. You know where it leads. His teaching is not something we listen to and we believe in, it is not blind faith.
You can find it out for yourself; it is a very practical Teaching, reflect on it. Studying Dhamma and practicing meditation, it is worth doing. Sometimes we waver, “should I meditate or should I go out and do something”? If you really know the value of meditation you can let go of distractions, enjoyments and pleasures and give more time to meditation. Keep thinking about the
benefits of meditation.

When you’ve really see that meditation is worthwhile
you’ll give your life to it. The more you give,
the more you get. Do it with all your heart!


This is another requirement for success in whatever you do. If you do something whole heartedly you’ll succeed. If you do it half heartedly, after a while, because you are not making much progress you’ll think that although you have been doing it for a long time it hasn’t taken you anywhere. You become discouraged.
If you do it half heartedly you don’t develop enough motivation to make any progress, and because you don’t make any progress you won’t believe in it anymore.
Another requirement is restraint. I know some people don’t like to hear this word because they think that restraint is the opposite of freedom; that is not true. If by freedom we mean to do whatever we want, this is not real freedom.
Freedom really means knowing what is useful,
what is beneficial and worthwhile,
knowing what is wholesome and what is unwholesome
and choosing what is wholesome, good and right
and doing it whole heartedly.

Restraint has many meanings and one of them is keeping the precepts. Why do we need to keep the precepts? For lay people it is five or eight precepts and for monks more then two hundred. In the beginning when we try to keep the precepts we feel very cramped, we feel as if we don’t have enough room to move. We can’t do anything! When we keep training our mind
after a while it gets used to living with them. At this point we don’t have to try anymore to keep them, actually it becomes our nature and we feel very free.

What happens when we don’t keep the precepts? What
happens when we kill, steal, commit adultery, tell lies or take intoxicants? What happens to that person? When a person does not take the precepts he does not have self respect. Naturally,
deep inside us we know what is proper and what is not. We give in to the temptation; we give in to greed, to anger, and to other sensual pleasure. When we don’t restrain ourselves we do things that are improper. We harm ourselves and we harm other people.
In the process of harming others we harm ourselves because there is no way to harm others and not harm ourselves. It is impossible. I have noticed this even in minor things. Once in my monastery it was raining and there was a foot mat outside my door and a little dog, (which I’ll call he, because for me dogs are like people, they have consciousness and are also very sensitive).
Because of the rain he wanted to be in a dry place just like me.
When it rains I want to be in a dry place because I don’t want to get wet. This little dog came up to my kuti (little hut) and slept on the door mat and whenever I wanted to go out I couldn’t open the door because he was sleeping there and sometimes I got very upset. I thought I must teach this dog not to come and sleep here. Do you know what I did? I got a bucket of water, opened the door and threw it on the dog, just to teach him that
he would get wet if he came here. When I was doing it, suddenly my awareness came and I caught my state of mind, “what am I doing?” I found that I was feeling some sort of pain. I was feeling like I was not a good compassionate person, actually I was very
cruel. That feeling hurt me very much, it was very painful to be a cruel person and not to be a compassionate loving one. When I caught myself I realized that I was harming the dog, but by getting wet he is not really harmed, but what harmed me most was
loosing my peace, tranquility and self respect.

That is more harmful. In many instances I have noticed
this again and again. Sometimes I was not deliberately harming anybody, for example when somebody came I was not feeling very friendly, I didn’t want to give my time to that person. This person came again and again, I didn’t have any time for him,
and so I didn’t go out and receive him. When I looked into my mind I found that I could give some time to this person if I wanted to, just a few minutes, but I felt very cold inside me, not loving, not kind, and not warm. When I watched that, I found it to be very painful. Ignoring a human being is very painful. Not acknowledging, not feeling loving and kind it is very painful.
Whenever we do something like that we lose our self respect, this is very painful and harmful. It is true that in some cases we have to put a limit. But when we do that we should do it with understanding, with kindness and not with coldness.

When we don’t keep the five precepts
we harm others as well as ourselves.
These precepts are not imposed
by somebody. It is nature.

Deep inside us we know that not keeping the five precepts is improper, harmful. Even though a person may not be keeping
the five precepts, deep inside him he has respect for those who keep them. He has respect, admiration and appreciation for those who are loving, kind, and generous. When we lose our self respect we don’t feel worthy. When we don’t feel worthy what happens? Even though we do something, because we don’t feel worthy we don’t give ourselves whole heartedly, we do things half heartedly. Those who feel unworthy won’t really
try their best, they will feel themselves pretending that they are doing something but actually they are not. To feel worthy of something it is very important to feel worthy of love, of freedom,
peacefulness, deep wisdom, and understanding. You can only rise as high as your self esteem. This is very important.
So, how can you develop your self esteem? You do what
is right. You avoid doing what is wrong. When you have self esteem you also have self confidence and self respect. With this you believe that you are a good person. When you do what is good and when you avoid what is not good then you feel you are a good person. We have to train ourselves not to do what is unwholesome and to do what is wholesome with right attitude, whole heartedly. Cultivating the quality of loving kindness towards anyone, animals included will nourish the heart and give a lot of energy. It will make you feel that you are a loving person, and at the same time you feel worthy of receiving love.
To feel worthy of mettæ (love), to feel worthy of something good it is very important; unless you have that you cannot meditate.
Do something to develop that quality more and more.

Let go of the past and be willing to
fully live in the present.
Be willing to change and to grow.
Often we are afraid to change, to grow,
and because of lack of confidence
we don’t try our best.
We are responsible for ourselves and our lives,
no matter what happened in the past,
without blaming anybody.

I have met many people who are always blaming others for their unhappiness, but they don’t try to learn anything that will help them to become more happy and peaceful. Try always to think about wholesome thoughts although it is very difficult to do. Most of our thoughts are unwholesome: greed, anger, pride, envy, jealousy. During the day try to be aware of what you are
thinking about without wanting to control it. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about something unwholesome about someone or about something, try to look at it from a different angle and see if you can learn something from that situation and become positive about it. You determine to think something
positive as much as possible. All this is just preparation
for meditation. If you think unwholesome thoughts all day and then sit and meditate and expect to be peaceful and happy, it is not possible because you have not prepared your mind. Thinking in a positive and wholesome way is reflecting and thinking properly.

It is a natural thing for every being to experience
good and bad things in life, reflecting on this it
helps to let go, to not get attached.

Another important thing is restraint of the senses. We see so much; hear so much, so limit yourself. Watching television, reading, do only if it is necessary, try to limit it. If we don’t put a limitation in our daily life, we’ll not have enough time and energy to meditate. To avoid agitation try to restrain the senses.

Purity of livelihood is very important, look after your needs in a proper way. A friend who is a meditator told me that in his office he used to use the copy machine for personal needs before he started meditating, but since he has been meditating and is very aware of his mental states he has noticed that whenever he used the machine for himself he felt guilty, he felt as if he
was stealing. Although nobody said anything, the purpose of the machine was for office use, he stopped using it. It does not matter if other people do it, let them do it, but you are developing your spiritual qualities, and making yourself be worthy of real
peace, real insight, real liberation.

Try to make your life as simple as possible, in eating, in
clothing, in everything. Whatever you do, whatever you have, it demands your time and energy, and it may cause some sort of agitation. My teacher in his housing in the monastery has literally, nothing. He has only three robes on his body and washes them in turn. There is no furniture at all, the floor is very clean.
If you live in an empty room your mind becomes empty. When you go to a supermarket what happens to your mind? In an empty room there are no distractions. If you want to develop in meditation as much as possible live a very simple life.

Meditation is like cultivating the land.

Look very deep into your mind every day, and try to weed, because every day seeds are coming in the mind. They will take root and if you let them stay there long, their roots will become very strong and it will be harder for you to root them out, but if you can throw away the seed before it germinates it will be very
helpful.

QUESTION &
AN S W E R: In the beginning I won’t suggest that you give it up completely. Give up little by little but be very honest.
See if you can give up something, especially talking about music. I told you that I love music. I was a musician when I was young and because of my love for music I came in contact with another person who was a musician and also a very good meditator. You can be a musician and a good meditator. My first meditation teacher was a layman who was a music instrument maker and a musician. Even when he was making musical instruments, playing instruments he would do it with all his attention, with real care, real love.
The kind of music he played was very soothing and calming. If you like music, find the kind of music which is calming and soothing for the mind. You don’t need to give up everything; you can give up just as much as you can.
Do it slowly and gradually.
If music is your livelihood and it disturbs your meditation
practice you have to make a decision.

QUESTION: By the way, what happened to the dog?
AN S W E R: I gave him a proper place to sleep on. I felt
very happy about it. Any time you show any kindness to
any being it makes you very happy, it is very nourishing, it helps your practice. As much as possible be kind. Sometimes you might get angry or upset but we can learn from those experiences as well. Learn to forgive yourself. We’ll never be perfect. Ask yourself “am I trying my best?” You all have been meditating for quite a while, try your best.
Every moment of peace has a tremendous
effect on the mind. Peace of mind, no matter how
momentarily is of great value.
Every time the mind becomes peaceful even for a few seconds it gives you a contrast. In life we are always making choices, so choose to be peaceful even for a few seconds.
Every day, every moment I choose to be a monk. It is not
easy being a monk. If it was, so many would not disrobe.
Until the person attains Anagami-magga (non-returner), a
monk can always chose to be a layman. So, we choose to be mindful. All psychological problems are basically spiritual.
If you have the right attitude and the right understanding
you can do away with a lot of psychological problems. I have come here to spend four months. Coming here is also part of my learning process. It is necessary for my growth.

In our life we need balance;
we need time for ourselves and time for others.
If we live only for ourselves we won’t feel satisfied.
If you really want to be happy,
help others to be happy, in whatever way.
The more you can give the more you become mature. The biggest disturbance comes from unwholesome thoughts and actions.