By Kim Huynh, 2004

Here are some of my reflections on the retreat at Ngapali Beach in Burma, which I attended last January.

When I arrived at the Grand Resort, the site of our retreat, I was not impressed. I thought, "Wow, this place is really dirty. And HOT. Am I really spending New Year's Eve here? And my 20th birthday??" I remember thinking that I really respected my friend, Jake Davis, for having devoted so much time in Burma (or Myanmar as it is now called), not only to his practice, but also to the study of Burmese language and culture. I did not understand, however, why he or anyone else for that matter would willingly choose to spend an extended amount of time there or why so many westerners kept coming back (unless they were staying at the fabulous Nikko Hotel. Although I was in awe of the incredible beauty and spiritual energy that resonated throughout the Shwedagon Pagoda, in spite of being assaulted by mosquitoes as I attempted to meditate, I was not particularly touched by anything outside on the dusty streets of Yangon.

A few days later, we arrived in Ngapali and discovered that the Grand Resort Hotel was, in fellow yogi Michael Zucker's words, "not so grand". Yet in retrospect I cannot imagine a more incredible setting for the retreat. I will never forget the ethereal chanting from the nearby monastery echoing through the forest in the wee hours of the morning; the reflection of the sun rising over the mountains in the water, a sight that greeted us every day as we entered the meditation hall; the gorgeous crimson sunsets on the beach; the light of the full moon streaming through the palm trees; the curious smiles and eager hellos from the local children; the food!; and of course, the peeping toads in the shower.

Coming from Hawaii, people sometimes tease me about whether I live in a grass hut on the beach. On the shores of Ngapali, I came across people who actually do live in grass huts, people who don't have much by Western materialistic standards. Yet, through their incredible warmth and kindness, I sensed that the Burmese have found one thing that we all search for, but which too often eludes us: perfect contentment--a feeling I discovered for the first time on the third day of the retreat. About halfway through a meditation sitting, I was suddenly struck with a sense of incredible joy. A smile on my face became a wide grin, which broke into a chuckle and then, for some reason, I started laughing and couldn't stop--I was just so happy. I only experienced that once on the retreat, but once was enough to ignite within me a newfound passion and intense desire to continue with and further develop my practice; to learn more about the dharma and spread the Buddha's teachings to as many as possible. I left Burma with tears in my eyes, as well as a wish to find Jake and tell him that at last, I understand.

After returning to school, with its juvenile social politics and other unpleasant facets of daily life, I realized that mindfulness and meditation are the key to not sweating the small stuff and to maintaining that perfect contentment. I resolved to sit for at least twenty minutes a day, but naturally, post-retreat resolutions are much like new year’s resolutions: one is unlikely to keep them. You will be glad to know, however, that over a month later, having somewhat reconciled my inner college-party-girl with my inner Bodhi Dharma, I'm still motivated to keep up my practice. I'm this close to Nibbana, I swear!

To all the yogis and everyone who made the "Ngapali Family Retreat" (as Daw Yuzana called it) possible: you truly are like family to me; each of you have touched me and inspired me in ways you cannot possibly imagine, and for this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Most of all, to my parents: though I felt at times on this trip that I could only take you in moderation, words cannot express the appreciation I have for everything you have done. I realized in Burma for the first time how truly blessed I am to have been brought up in the presence of so many incredible teachers and to have received the opportunity to experience the gift of the dharma. With deep love and gratitude, I wish that you all "reach enlightenment pretty quickly and easily."